The Morning Cup, June 26, 2004: Let Your Emotions Teach You; Observe Yourself As a Child

From the Archives

Saturday June 26, 2004

Today's Sip: Let Your Emotions Teach You; Observe Yourself As A Child

The June 17, 2004 column observed the broad band of emotions a young child is capable of feeling and how that band narrows as we mature. As adults, we seem to have a very limited range , or set, of emotions, we are comfortable feeling and expressing; all others pass either unnoticed or misconstrued, and can generate a variety of uncomfortable feeling states, including frustration and anger. The column suggested that you look deeply into the emotions your child expresses and try to simulate a similar expression in yourself.

Today, open your awareness to the emotionswithin yourself that you tend to ignore or suppress. You'll have insight that such an emotion is present when you encounter a situation that makes you uncomfortable. Then, when you make the connection, exaggerate your response -- as if you were a young child.

First it is necessary to touch the emotion. So, for example, say you are driving your car and wave someone to get in front of you. The car doesn't respond and stays in its lane and it becomes unclear whether or not you can proceed. You hold back and so do they. Finally you accelerate and "blow past" them. You feel angry.

Your anger is a wonderful cue to tap into the deeper emotions you may be feeling. Breathe deeply and observe yourself, as if you were a child. Try not to think. See what emerges. Perhaps you may realize that you are upset because the person in the car "Did Not Listen To You." If so, belt out, inside your car, "Hey you. You're supposed to listen to me. I am supposed to be listened to!" Consider for a moment whether your child ever feels this way.

Engaging in this exaggerated expression helps us to better connect with our children. It can also feel good.

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