The Daily Sip: Listen Deeply And
Be With Your
Child
When our child is in pain, we are either with them or against
them; that is, we either feel great empathy and want to do all we
can to ease their pain, or we take it personally, are embarassed,
see the behavior as a problem, and try to stop it.
Our child's
pain may derive from a physical or emotional injury and express itself
in the form of crying, anxiety, frustration, anger, defensiveness, and
sullenness, to name but a few of the forms.
Whether we are with
them or against them, we often attend first to what we perceive to
be the problem and try to solve it. The practice of mindful
parenting adds another dimension to our response and draws from a
place of stillness deep inside of ourselves.
If you find yourself
today interacting with your child while they are in pain,
try to respond, at least in part, from a mindful place.
Let go
of the thoughts racing through your brain -- who did this to you?
why are you still sreaming? it will be okay, speak slower -- and look
your child in the eyes with a soft gaze. Breathe deeply and
smile. For at least a minute, don't speak from a place of knowing;
speak, if at all, from a place of awareness.
Consider sharing
with them: "You are in pain, aren't you. I can see that.
Share with me why you are in pain. I want so much to understand
why my beautiful child is unhappy."
While they are responding,
however they respond, listen deeply. For this moment, listening,
alone, will absorb some of the pain.
